100. She still reads his every status update off his Facebook wall. Perhaps, even likes photographs of mutual friends once in a while, hoping she'd cross his mind and for just one second he would hurt.
4. She likes to sit cross-legged. Knows yoga, and a thing or two about posture.
23. She likes strawberry ice cream, cherries and orange tang.
42. She loves to sing and knows she has a good voice.
16. Her greatest fear is dependence, needing things or someone. So she sings of freedom, perhaps a little too often. She still debates if she'd be better off lonely, but growing old is something she'd rather not think about.
77. On an average, she washes her hair about twice a week.
51. She likes to discover new perfumes and sweet odors but can't stand the same smell over an extended period of time.
7. She wants to buy a fridge, the ones with two doors and stuff it up with colorful fruits, things she's cooked and ice cream.
8. She is a good cook.
69. She is wary and suspicious of words. Experience has taught her not to trust words, sometimes even her own, no matter how earnestly they're said at the time. So she hates voicing her own ambitions out loud.
78. She believes people in love are delusional. Yet, she cannot help but love him or at least miss him.
5. Strong, is an expression she prides herself for wearing well.
91. She has a thing for order, organisation and cleanliness.
38. She loves children. Somewhere, there still lingers hope. She had an almost daughter once. Almost, was the hardest part.
45. Her favorite color is white.
26. She hates the word 'women empowerment', as if women are not born inherently equal.
72. She puffs up her cheeks with air every time she consciously changes the subject in her mind or wants you to change yours, to random lighter things.
55. She snores when she's tired.
19. She still looks for closure. The last argument, the last goodbye were all a little too unfinished. Like an abrupt ending to a war, with no graceful farewells.
84. She wants to travel.
31. She loves attention, but she'd rather be in a quiet place, bored, than in a loud company, lonely.
22. Her father bought her roshogollas whenever she fell sick as a child. Roshogolla is her favorite sweet.
47. She can tell who's been crying. She cries often, privately.
48. Shes tries hard not to feel anything, too afraid if she let the hurt kick in, she'd shatter in ways she could never pick herself up again.
93. Far too many songs still remind her of him.
17. She likes to write things down, formula and methodology, it gives her a sense of clarity.
54. She worries about everything. Parents, job, Phd, future, him among other things. So, she's trained herself not to think. But somewhere in her subconscious one leak distracts her from the other, and she can't decide which leak to fix first or how to fix them all.
60. She still dreams. In the waking hours, of building a life beautiful and useful, at night, a whole new thriller movie.
98. I could be wrong about everything I think I know about her. She is not easily understood. And she changes, constantly.
36. She is a liar.
25. When she gets mad, she gets really mad and passionately mad.
99. There are things that I don't know about her, things that I already love, but might never know... and that kills me.
10. She is so tired... But, she can still smile, for now.
2. She cannot love me and I cannot unlove her.
1. She is beautiful, so beautiful.
